The spoon terror...

Sometimes... I really wonder if it's truly the conscience or an illusion to cover up my stubborness and pride... Didn't see Chris for 3D yesterday after the review with Michael. I admitted to my friends that I do face a certain dilemma of not being able to draw out my design, and thus making it difficult for myself to get down to do my final model for the spoon project. They told me to go find Chris for help, but somehow... just some part of me says I've yet to do my part. I've done nothing since our last project progress check, and if I do go meet him, chances are, he would stare at me and I'll stare back at him. Decided, I should just do some models...

So me went home... and started shaping that piece of wood Dad brought back from the factory. Mum tried to help, but was limited by the fact that I have no concrete design drawn up as a guideline. My design was in the head, stuck there. The models I've done so far out of clay and foam were all in bits and pieces, so much fragmented that I can't seem to get a picture of what I want on paper. So it started with just a side profile of the spoon that I managed to squeeze out sometime ago (but was not of proportion).



The kitchen 'workshop'.... If there is something I discovered in sem 2, it's that my house is a workshop in disguise...



Tools for the day... The clamp was borrowed from the uncle at the clothing store, thanks to mum who helped me asked for it. The sewing machine table in the kitchen was strong and sturdy enough to withstand the weight and force.



Bought a small but super powerful tool that left the table with many shreds of wood. Dunno what's it called... the coping saw was pretty useful too. Mum guided me along the usage of all the tools, helping me with the wood saw and giving some tips about how not to break the saw...



Random picture of Ann who came into the kitchen. She just had a haircut, for Xiu to seeeee~ XD Recently the kid has been getting rashes all over the face... Ting's wondering if it's measles, but the fever had subsided a few days ago before the red spots start appearing more on the forehead and there aren't spots appearing anywhere else. Mum took all of Ann's towels and toys for a wash...



The spoon... can't get a good picture of it with my chui camera in the night lighting. Within 4 hours, the basic shape was almost done cut out and I spent the rest of the time sanding the edges smooth. It wasn't good, the straw handle too thin, and the bowl of the spoon still needs some adjustments. I'll be doing another one later today, hopefully my arm can tahan... I finally have a full model to guide me in the technical drawings... At least there's some direction now...

Freedom! For a while...

(Yesh, another all talk no work post XD)

Anyways, FINALLY! That 'Understanding Singapore Society' paper is over... for now, hopefully I can pass that, dun wanna retake this module, although the lectures are really enjoyable to attend... (Heard the lecturer is leaving for overseas study a few years.... wondering if he'll be back nia...) First time in my life I tried to 'mug', but I dunno what is 'to mug' (other than the Final Fantasy battle action for 'steal cum attack') and I dunno how to 'mug' (upgrade that 'Steal' materia to the second level in FF7 or designate Diablos to learn that skill in FF8).

Spent that last three days at that make shift table beside the pc to read the stack of notes and required readings given by the lecturer. Man... for someone who dun read so much, it's a torture... But I'm quite amazed (and at the same time, a bit proud of myself...) that I could finish them all.... but digest them? 90% not. However, somehow, after reading about 3/4 of them, I started catching that focus, reading with a bit more understanding. Probably Mr Lim's lecture slides kind of helped by giving an outline to what the readings were saying in their 'chim engrish'. And when I get bored out with those papers, it's mapling time. (Lv 98 finally... T_T Time to quest again!) Still trying to find my own way of studying... realised mind mapping kind of helped, music that I seldom listen to at a soft volume, clean and tidy table with just a large cup of water... I don't seem to make my own stack of notes that others do, other than getting a few papers scribbled with what I have learned so far, later cast aside... and rewritten and re-summarised.

Meal times are discussions with mum about the Singapore 'way of life'. We chatted about topics of gender treatment in sg, the pragmatism, the previous campaigns in sg, to absurdities like 'virignity as trade' and debating why 'men should be wearing skirts and women should wear jeans'. Crazy ideas, but I see why mum loves to watch those Taiwan tv news of politics and economies. They talk about everything under the sky (not limited to the air boundaries of Taiwan). Somehow, the thinking gears do start working, but when I sit down to think about what to draw, i'm still facing a white paper... Something tells me to move out of the manga drawing routine, but I've been very reluctant to do so, causing the paper to stare back at me all white. Old habits die hard...

Anyways, I'm glad that I was able to write something for the exam paper... Although it's probably not even worth higher than C+, I'm hoping that I could just pass there... And the coming, last hurdle... 3D final project. Time to go chop wood! XD Dun wanna see mushroom head again...... T_T Nonononono....

The Two Kids...

Ann's gallery

Yang's Gallery

Just yesterday, I was quite stumped with the question that was raised during a phone conversation with gale.... Do the kids respect me or fear me? It was pretty hard to answer tho I felt that the fear factor was more. Since young, those kids kind of had a very creepy image of me, since I looked super similar to my younger aunt, who was a qualified 'terrorist' to them (it's a story of karma there...). Anyways, they had the impression that I'm like her, I think... and that illusion kind of carried through for sometime, till maybe now too.

Used to whip out a cane at them, but I pondered if they are scared of me or the cane? Where would be the respect? Then it goes, that I make them stand outside that storeroom door for hours, works a while. And that 'use your eyes to kill the kids' skill, then that 'mighty hand on head' skill. The idea of talking reason to them, that didn't last long when Ann just keep that irritating smiling face when I tried to talk real business with her. Did she understand? Or was that her defence or something? I dunno... I realised my bro caught that 'naggy' talk from me too, which somehow, turned into arrogance at a certain point.

'Kids, you have to understand them' they say. But I don't understand how 'love teachings' can teach a kid to not scream at his parents in the middle of street. Probably I just don't have the patience for that, that I asked Ting to talk to them instead while I'll be the bad woman, who will pick on them for everything, from playing the pc for too long to not putting the used clothes into that washing tub. I make an effort to keep to what I say, even when Ting does something different from what I teach them, I'll just tell her about it and she'll happily cooperate too. I do see my 'terrorism' reaping some results, good and bad. The kids would hastily scramble down from the pc station when they see me at the door, and when they know that I'm not going to school for a day, they let out a long sigh of dissappointment.

Truthfully, I don't know them very well, their inner world, that is. Ting would tell me about the night chats she have with Yang, but as for Ann, her happy-go-lucky attitude seemed to mask many things that both of us could never seem to know, other than maybe, mum. She's ignorant and all smiley on the outside, but smart and clever. If Yang is smart in academic studies, Ann's smart in human behavorial studies, being able to turn situations to her favor, which probably is why Ting had her favourites on Yang. If there was inequality in the home, probably she's one victim herself, with the aunts from Dad's side showering books, toys and knowledge oppurtunities on Yang while Ann have to, at times, ask for what she wants herself forcefully. Sometimes, I felt that little kid being pretty lonely. Occasionally when I'm at the table doing work, she would bring her color pencils and paper to my table and draw, shoving the picture to me after that, smiling brightly. I would ask her what it is about, and she'll try to describe in her own chopped language what they are.

Speaking of which, I wonder if it was drawing that quite puts us together a bit. Or maybe, that's the only respect they have for me, seeing the artworks I churn out, sometimes, they would just crowd around and gasp at the works. After that, they'll start drawing in the living room, and showing those pictures to me upon completion. Probably as a sister, I failed to get the true respect as when I am seen as an artist in their eyes, who is capable of drawing what they are yet to be able to. Yang now keeps his own sketchbook that he doesn't seem to want to show to me but Mr Ho and the Ms Chan of Gradsign. As for Ann, I'll just take whatever she has churned out and keep them in a file that I plan to show her when she's older.

I wonder if any of the two of them would end up going for arts and design fields next time? I dunno... considering mum's way of just letting go after Sec 4, there might be chance of them heading in a similar direction as me... but as usual, they have their own roads to walk next time, I can never be a discipline mistress to them for life... Hopefully there would be a family spirit there always...

Flight

(WARNING: Image heavy...)

Yeap, the comic done for 4D final project. Rushed out in 3 days... linework printed from an epson printer and watercolored. Many thanks to Prof Michael for hearing out my rants and pulling me back to the scene of now, that this comic is even done. Just recently, Ruby from maple was ranting in her DA journal, a similar situation that I faced earlier on that sparked off this comic idea. I guess that's what everyone who are to be graduating will face now and then. Strangely that it occured so fast to me... maybe cos it already strike me in poly year 3 and I couldn't really come to terms with this fear... So maybe this would be a gentle reminder to myself when it happens again, haha.

Hmm... there are no words in there, so might get a bit confusing there... My skills of storytelling ain't very good, and somehow felt the meaning of the story pretty ambiguous. Up to how one sees it ba... :)

Sorry about the overlay of words there =_= I was thinking of making it into a short animation clip next time, just an idea...

















































































The first page was colored digitally, cos it was the survivng piece of the first digital coloring tryout and I forgot all about it for the watercolroing (oh yea, so unpro~) Time was running ou and the brown colors was an instinct kind of treatment to the comic, since that way, I could just minimize the job to only tonal value change. The colors were splashed on towards the end as they seem to add to that wake-from-dream feel. Wonderful what watercolors can do..... T_T Just love 'em.

Haiz... coming back to look at it, I wonder what I should do with that question, since I'm a bit more clearer headed now... Somehow, I still dunno nia. It's like being pushed to the back of the head once again, a volcano that'll explode someday again. Maybe I just keep my eyes and head open this time? Michael asked me that day after I presented my work, that 'everything isn't lost, right?' I shrugged. It's just me ba...

I've Gotta Move It!

Ahh... a time to breathe... for a day maybe, gotta study all the way now. But just couldn't resist the paintbrush again, especially since I have some ideas what I want to paint these days... argh, distraction. During the Art History exams preparation, I was really inspired by Claude Monet's work that I was thinking of trying out that Impressionistic style of painting. As what I've read... they were influenced by the science discoveries about the eye and started painting as if there were no forms but just colors. What is seen is not 3D but just a flat image that is made up of dots of colors, that makes things look 3d. To look at things as if you're born blind and could suddenly see again.... Taking that, I grabbed a picture from the FFVII book bought sometime ago and started painting.



It's kind of tough, what colors to go where, how the colors themselves when placed beside each other would bring about a certain illusion to the picture. Started off with a total blank cardboard (yea, it was previously used as a tempo cutting mat and I was about to throw it away until I thought the lines would be interesting to play with), without any basic sketches of the head. Just put patches of paint around and while doing the face coloring, I wondered how to make it come out and tried to remember the previous impressionistic paintings I saw in the textbook. They had patches of colors yes, but there were patches of many different colors together in strokes, so close to each other that they created the illusion. Maybe that's how it works?

The painting there was done in goauche first (cos they were starting to dry up and I realised it would be a waste...) and when I ran out of white goauche, it's acrylic.

Ahhh... Botak Jones.... XD Enjoying life a bit now, but it's time to go back to the books... Saw the 3D Prof's email and I was quite... haiz. It's gonna end soon yea...

Short Rest Before the Second Wave...

YIIPPPPEEEEE!!! Western Art History down! Now it's time to concentrate on that Understanding Sg Society module... Haven't read the required readings... and there's 10 lessons worth of them... gonna die with a burned brain (yea, exaggeration.. I doze off most of the time before that happens).

Anyways, I was quite surprised that I managed to crap for my paper today. Chose Monet's and Mucha's artworks and compared them, although the reasoning sounds very forced out... Just gotta move forward there and spit it out. Wrote about Gericault and the Portraits of the Insane for the first question too, since that was the one painting that I had done loads of research for the presentation previously.

And quite malu nia, brought my handphone into the examination hall but dunno how to turn it off, ended up asking the guy beside me to help me out with it. Surprisingly, he was the guy who was at EOY and SOY previously, when Dor and I set up a booth on both occasions. Quite a passionate fellow who seems to be part of a private manga studio. Looking at him makes me wonder if one day the old 2007 dmd-ers would get together and set up a small studio or something...

Went for badminton the night, and I realised the effects of staying up too late chionging work had started to show... I found myself tired and sweating profusely within 10 minutes of casual gaming there, and after sometime, felt like vomitting. Arms got a bit lazy too, can't swing much, making my drop shots hit the net most of the time. Guess it would take sometime to get back to the normal mode... Had a suddent 'brilliant' of booking courts on saturdays or sundays in school and jio my aunt there to play instead of paying money for a court in the sports complex nearby. Dunno if outsiders would be allowed in there.... Heck, maybe just try. XD

Gotta start gathering some reference pictures and print them all out in school before the sem ends. XD Pre-paid printing, but the money is untransferable, so why not just finish them all before the sem ends and it goes 'poof'? XD Man, I'm killing trees.... but they do help. I'm having some ideas what to draw now, just the matter of time...

The Start of Exams!

Yea... finally, the comic was done... or rather, 75% done... I was about 10 minutes late for class, and somehow, wasn't very frantic about the grade drop and not being able to present my work. Maybe just tired to be even anxious about all these things, but hey, I was given the chance to present, though the last one... But maybe cos I was the last one, no one figured out that the work was unfinished, since everyone kind of tuned out a bit due to the previous presentations dragging the class on for extra 2 hours.

The past three days right after the book was... haiz. The first two days was about orgainising everything, planning the sequence of the story, drawing out the panels. I was kind of tired out by the previous project that I didn't realise that the side effects of staying up late was coming until the head start to numb. Mum boiled some herbal drinks for me, which kind of kept me going too. (T_T) The panel drawing took quite long, and I had to frequently stop to check where the story was heading, since there wasn't any dialogue in the comic and there isn't a thumbnail outline or anything to guide me. All the panels done were final.

Didn't force myself there, the occasional blank outs were tormenting but I just wasn't coming out with anything, head over to the pc to maple abit. T_T Idiot lent me a wa 106 bow.... T_T Never touched an over wa 100 bow.... T_T Maybe after the 3D presentation on 27th, I'll start playing a bit with my new toy....

Anyways, I realised this shift in focus kind of helped a bit to look at the work with new ideas for the panels. Even tossed in an impromptu idea of a bird cage, though I wonder if it might end up confusing others, but it kind of added interest to the supposed monotonous panels of only head and expressions and more heads. (I'll be putting the comic together in flash once I had the time to go figure out that software...)

Was still inking the work on the last day, and by late night, I realised I'll have to get it colored in 10 hours. First try was a colored version, what I initially wanted. Took the color palette of NDS game 'Professor Layton' and tried slapping it there.



It was coming out fine, but took too long. Stopping to check the time, I realised it took me an hour to get to that, which kind of forced me to look for another style. Tried painting it sepia in digital, but accidentally overwrite the file I was working for the next half hour, and decided that I should just scrap digital and do it traditionally.



It was a bet, I doubt I could get everything done by 6am, then it was almost 1 in the morning. Printed one piece of the linework and tested to see it the epson ink was waterproof, and it is. Organised and cleaned up all the panels in photoshop, printed them out with a slight brown tone, and started painting. It was about 3am then, quite a mad race against time to get all about 40 pages done. Couldn't refine it and there were some important details that I couldn't do, since it was already nearing 7 and I have yet to cut the papers and bind them up. The next 45 minutes was just cutting and trimming, finding a nice cover from the bundles of paper on my table (where's the table in the mess...? lol..) Realised I haven't eat, didn't bathe for the day before (did I brush my teeth...), just drain a cup of milo, changed my clothes, grab my things and rush off to school (nope, no running there...)

On the way, I know I was late, Yin Huey and Siew Khim were sms-ing me to ask my location, cos the prof had started the lesson. I was dozing off on the bus when I read them, but was kind of giggling inside too.. the fact that they are more anxious than me... Yea, I quite gave up on even presenting the work (didn't even plan out how to do it too...) But hey, things turned out fine. Was pretty anxious before my presentation at the end, but just babbled on. Up till that point, I wasn't sure if my work had any major intention behind it... other than it being a journey of a girl through which she realises her problem and makes a decision.

Wonder if it was intentional, but the prof took the oppurtunity there to give us some boost for the next three years, a lesson about moving forward even if you go dry... Haha, learnt that for the price of a night's sleep. It was my first time not sleeping at all... The previous record in nyp was 1 hr sleep, and I end up feeling all floaty then. Funny how one can remain all awake and 'energised' for over 30 hours until you closed your eyes and dozed off a few minutes later.

Time to look back and think what to look out for next time... even with all the confidence lectures... ... shake head ar... Just one question mark to stop me from completing 3 projects, but still gotta move forward... Seeing that WSC 'settle and go, dun think twice' spirit there...

Yea, sleep. That was ten hours of it... enough for now, I guess.

The Book is DONE!

>_< Finally... after three days of toiling (not that bad toiling though, still get to sleep at least 6 hours... Wonder) I realised it's the most productive 3 days of my sem 2 life... Yea, the 2D project.. We were told to make a compilation of our works from sem 1 to sem 2, like a portfolio, just that she wanted it in a handcrafted book.... The idea I got was pretty simple, Art --> Philosophy --> Magic book, went somewhere on that line. The final product in my head was an old looking book, wooden covered, a bit medieval type.

I wasn't very hyped up about the making of it at first, but when you just have to do it cos it's gonna be due soon, I got down on the table and started writing what materials to get etc. Frankly.. there wasn't a confirmed shopping list, I just looked around in Art Friend for an hour or so, hoping to find things that might fit into the book.

Started off the project with staining the whole new block of 30 pieces heavyweight Daler Rowney papers. It was a gamble at first, I haven't did out the pages of the book then, having no idea how many pieces I need. Emptied the new box of lipton tea and got my mum as an accomplice to the drowning of these papers...

After that, I got out all my past works, gathering them up and pondered how little pages that would be. Seeing the 30 pieces of paper, I thought I should just use them all. Counting the pages they can make, it was 120... making me crap half the book up with 'design'. I added in the process sketches of the projects, which amazingly, managed to fill up the book.

As for the wood cover, thank God that Dad had a cabinet full of tools.... Seeing me saw that pathetic piece of wood made him shake his head... 10 minutes passed and the saw went less than 10cm far, and to think that the line was starting to go crooked....'Wen ah, how big you want the piece to be, papa help you saw. How big?'. T_T Yea man... nailed that cover down in less than 2 hours, complete with sanding and coloration. After that, it was the details and binding...

The youtube video was of real great help. However, I decided to play cheat with glue.... So the signatures were sewn together with coptic binding, with an extra page on the front and back, which are later glue to the wooden board, with a cloth glued between them, acting as a spine.... Cheaterbug, but I got what I want.... so... yea.



The cloth for the 'spine' was leftover from mum's previous lobang (see the cloth on the table?)



The book can't really close properly when it's standing... bad on my binding part... but that's what happens most of the time when you go for easy way out... Thought of doing a metal clasp kind of thing to close the book firmly, but heck, I've spent too much time on this. Need to move on to the other project which I have yet to start on (and is due on tuesday!!!!!!!!!! T_T)



If it's lying down on the table, the weight of the wooden cover pushed the papers down and kind of closes the book. The metal looking structures are made from cardboards. I used some gold paint (Daler and Rowney 'Goldfinger'...) and later varnished them. Went over the entire book cover with shoe polish to give that antique feel. Now it smells...


The back of the book.



First page of the book! Yea, you can see the threads there.





Jason was complaining about the problem of organising the pages. Having done some magazine layouts before.... I know how confusing it can get. But the moment you make a mock up of the pages, everything comes easy. It's easier cos I'm dealing with 5 papers per section, so just one section would be enough to plan all pages.




After sometime, decided to change that bead thing... It kind of pops up too much, so replaced it with an old ring which I've kept in the cupboard for many many years. The metal is starting to wear off and the green part is supposed to be blue... Anyways, it kind of fit there, so just paste it there along with some small beads I found in my pile of junk.



So yea.... ONE DOWN!!! >_< Time to move on....