Was talking to a fellow classmate (who I seldom talk to... haha) today and she asked quite a few intriguing questions, and we end up chatting longer than I thought I would...
She asked me what I wanna do after studies. An old question, but always never fails to bug me... I shrugged, dunno what I want to do there, other than wanting to paint and draw. As usual, 'don't you think it's a waste?' ...It's a wierd thing maybe, having the skills to draw and paint well but having no real directions and goal, after coming this far... If I knew what I really want, I wouldn't be in school anymore. It's stupid, and frustrating thoughts.
I can't manage spotlights. To me, being under expectations kills. I realised that I draw less in times when I'm expected to perform magic. WSC proved that I can be pushed far in two years, for the price of extra three months withdrawal from my personal drawing life. (well... a good deal for $2k and vis com skills actually... just that I don't enjoy what I do anymore.) The thought of getting into a good company and rising to greater heights just doesn't sync with my mind...
What I have been doing with my skills.... I realised I had never did a freelance job before. Even if it's a 'freelance' for a friend, it was literally free-lance, an F.O.C job (charity, take that as...)Sounds like the way to become the next artist starving to death. My mentality is pretty... wrecked up. Art, aesthetic... something that reflects what your condition now. The talks of great artists and their latest godly creations doesn't interest me as much as when one talks about how an artwork reflects the mind of the artist at the moment. Reading personalities off a painting, wouldn't that be more fun than striving to be the next top artist doing the next big thing? (yes, wrecked mentality...)
I'm happy when one is inspired or motivated to continue their work when they see mine. Knowing that my work becomes useful to others in a way, I'm happy too. Appreciation for the works you are proud of, what more can I ask? Yea, I lacked the ambition to move forward, yet with each task I'm assigned to do, people find me focused to the point of ambitious. Not to prove myself and get the acknowledgement of the bigshots, just hope that I don't let down myself for not doing what I know I can achieve in the given time.
So the old question...Where will I be in ten years time...?
Alive I hope, with my happy family, eyesight able to see stars at night without needing specs, still loving chocs, in contact with my friends and yea, the 2 kids grown up and matured (no, make it three :p). Making money, I hope, to get by the days, still painting, work needn't be about drawing and design, so long that it spares me time for other stuff like learning cooking, taichi, and 8 hours of sleep with 3 meals everday. Nothing too complicated, just simple things...
Yea, that's why don't be like me. You won't go far in the industry like that, will you?
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5 comments:
Didn't realise you have a comment button here so here goes.
You remind me of a friend of mine who enjoys drawing, took up a design course in poly but she decided she wants to work in a book store. And she's leading a simple happy life with that. Though I always ask her, you wana be a bookstore keeper for your whole life? xD But actually I think she's quite cool, to have no expectations and content with life so easily..
Don't think I can do that cos I'm greedy for more like some other human beings xD
Now you're making me rethink what I wana do and what I should do after getting this degree... >.>
Lol, thank Ber and Michael for these questions man... XD
Sounds cool maybe, dangerous actually... I sometimes wonder if it's escaping reality or something. There have been a few opputunities along the way for me to shine, but i turned them all down cos I like what I am currently, and thinking of those oppurtunities as paths that aren't really mine but more of what others wanted me to be.
Nothing wrong with the greed you talked about there, I wish I can be a bit more greedy and ambitious, not think too much and chase all out...
Ah well, time to piah work... Haha, jia you too ba!
Hmm escaping reality huh. But if this kind of simple life is really what you want I think it takes some courage to pursue this.
Since you wish you're more greedy, that's a start to being more greedy. Welcome to our world. ^^
Hahaha, duo duo chi jiao lo.... XDXDXD Thanks for the comments, they gave me another idea to think about ;)
Nope, I don't think you're running away from reality; its not like you're refusing to accept that there are other options open to you; what you've done is looked at the options and decided that its not what you want.
There's no need for you to rush you know, you're still young, you still have plenty of time to go in pursuit of.. whichever, whatever.
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